On the Subject of Two Bits

This poorly programmed lookup device is as maddening with its slow responses as it is unforgiving with ill-timed inputs. Patience required.

Query a series of two-letter codes to track down the correct answer before submitting it. This primitive lookup machine is intolerant to incomplete and excessive inputs, as well as any input while it is busy.

Step 1: Determine Initial Code

If the serial number contains a letter, use the leftmost letter’s numeric position in the alphabet as your base value (e.g. A=1, B=2). For no letters, use 0.

Add the last digit of the serial number multiplied by the number of batteries present.

If there is a Stereo RCA port present, double the current value.*

This value** is now the current code.

* Note: Skip this step if there is also an RJ45 port present.

** Note: Use the last two digits if the value is greater than 99. Prepend with a zero if less than 10.

Step 2: Determine character pair and Perform Query

Using the current code, look up the character pair. Enter that pair into the device and press "Query".

	-0	-1	-2	-3	-4	-5	-6	-7	-8	-9
0-	kb	dk	gv	tk	pv	kp	bv	vt	pz	dt
1-	ee	zk	ke	ck	zp	pp	tp	tg	pd	pt
2-	tz	eb	ec	cc	cz	zv	cv	gc	bt	gt
3-	bz	pk	kz	kg	vd	ce	vb	kd	gg	dg
4-	pb	vv	ge	kv	dz	pe	db	cd	td	cb
5-	gb	tv	kk	bg	bp	vp	ep	tt	ed	zg
6-	de	dd	ev	te	zd	bb	pc	bd	kc	zb
7-	eg	bc	tc	ze	zc	gp	et	vc	tb	vz
8-	ez	ek	dv	cg	ve	dp	bk	pg	gk	gz
9-	kt	ct	zz	vg	gd	cp	be	zt	vk	dc

Step 3: Repeat and Submit

The response code from the device from the query in Step 2 is now your current code. Perform Step 2 an additional 2 times, using the new code each time.

After receiving the response code from the final query, look up the corresponding character pair, enter the pair into the device and press "Submit".